WAKA-WAKA: Diary of Anwuli Di Ashewo Gal




Intro
Country people I hail oh! This column wey dem gimme so ehn, na to dey take am dey record my wahala life plus all di runs wey me and my other ashewo friends dey do to survive for dis obodo Naija.

Ehen...I forget to yarn una say my name na Anwuli, di finest gal, alias 'money for hand, back for ground'.
Dem say ashewo no be work but na everyday naim dis we bizness dey boom.

Di way we dey employ workers ehn...if other sectors dey employ like dat, jobs for no dey scarce again for we country. For dis our bizness, dem no dey ask for ya CV or who send you come. Provided Papa God don bless you with plenty back and front (dat na Chestsea and Assinal), you fit enter di game.

For many of una wey dey read this page so, to chop food, wear cloth and to live for beta house no be any skin pain for una at all. But for us wey Papa God don forget since wey Adam and Eve wack fobidin apple, everytin for life na hustle. If we slack na to kpeme be dat oh. Enjoy bo!

FRIDAY NIGHT
I check my watch come see say midnight don pass. Friday night no dey bad for market at all, dats why we dey always sing T.G.I.F. (Thank God it’s Friday!)

Bizness sweet last Friday night no be small. I been don already hammer like nine short-time jobs. Wetin I dey wait na to grab one mugu wey go carry me go do all night. I dey always dey careful for all night because many of our co-workers don follow ritualists go die before. Noting wey woman pikin eye never see for dis our work. I dey also make sure say I no follow all dis young young strong men wey no dey tire after dem don combine energy drink and Alomo. Those ones no dey ever fit come till dem get value for dia moni.

As woman pikin dey pray to hammer night job come buy hummer, naim dis fine car drive come stop for our front. Na so I tear smile for them come dey pretend like say I no dey interested. As all my co-workers dey struggle for attention like proper shameless ashis, the bobo wey dey for steering come hala me mek I show. I see say im oga na dis old married types wey dey cheat on dem wives. Di old man dey shy but trust your babe now, I tear di man smile like say my teet pass 32. Di man fall!

We know dey like night vigil jobs because di customer fit go turn to ritualist or Boko Haram. Sumtimes na gang boys wey go combine hammer your nyash! Well, dis papa no look dangeros so after I tia dem heavy price, na im I follow dem go house. If I for know di kain drama wey go happun ehn, I for no follow di man o. Well, actor no dey die for film! I promise to yarn una wetin happun. Mek una just dey watch out.

To be contd

Comments

  1. Unknown22 June 2012 at 13:19

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmm no b small tin oh!, anyway nice 1 I no fit wait 4 d part 2 oh!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 August 2012 at 05:49

    i don wait tire, where the part 2 of this story

    ReplyDelete

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